Anybody else out there tired? Stressed? At the end of their rope? These days this seems like a perpetual state of being. The discouraging part about it is that I seem to be the only one in this predicament within my house. Which if you consider that I am one of six people sleeping here each night, is kind of surprising I think. Especially when we further consider that everything that I struggle with seems to be something for the community good (our household community this is.)
I want to know when they wrote the job descriptions or edited them to put this responsibility on the mom. Traditional images show the dad perspiring in the fields, struggling with his “nose to the grindstone”, taking it on the chin from the boss to provide for his family. Meanwhile, the counter image of the mom is her floating through her home with a colorful feather duster, the aroma of cookies filling the air – prepared in a completely flour-free kitchen, tidy children smiling nearby – and there is never just one and everything is wonderful as the smile on her face so clearly expresses – and of course there will be no sweating for Mrs. Stepford. Of course the comparison leads us to believe that moms life is filled with fulfillment, joy, success while dad is subjected to extensive physical labor suffering under inhuman conditions. I don’t know about you, but this does not jive with my reality.
I am going to give a big thumbs up to most dads out there – truly most of them work their tootie off to make things happen for their family. But sometimes feels like if they check their 50 hour work week box, they have fulfilled their requirements. While it is on mom to play Ms. Wonderful above and in the meantime manage any shortfalls in time, money or needs of any kind that dad just isn’t able to provide. It is very hard to feel graceful and beautiful in this situation – shoot it is hard to find time to brush your hair in this situation.
I think that alot of times we undervalue the role of the mom, and I’m sorry but I think this is particularly true for the stay at home mom. Dads have their stresses and working moms do have a lot to juggle. But stay at home moms make their children’s world happen for them, or have to suffer with them when it doesn’t. Everyone else goes to the office and lives in an alternate reality for 8 or more hours a day – with a paid lunch break.
I know today I’m griping but I thought someone should…I’m pretty sure I’m not alone…I’m pretty sure we all feel pretty alone sometimes though…
Well that’s my fifteen minutes…Catch you later.
Mothering Without Nets 